"The perfect outcomes are already selected. The right path will be revealed and perfectly shown." I am becoming "one who peacefully trusts this process."
Those first two sentences came from a prayer I read today written to welcome in the new moon tomorrow. The third sentence I changed up just a bit because I AM changing and becoming more accepting of who I am and how I got to be this person that I am today.
I am not perfect to anyone else but me. Unless you have the ability to see others as perfect exactly as they are in this moment. That is what I am birthing with this new moon. Not perfection but birthing the ability to see things, people, situations as perfect in their respective moments.
"Change me O Divine Beloved into one who can breathe and relax into this holy birth...allowing all to open and unfold just as it needs."
Everything happens for a reason.
I have always believed these words to be true. Sometimes it is hard to find or see the reason but that doesn't mean that it isn't there right in front of us. Sometimes we don't want to see the reason. Sometimes we just want to be angry or hurt or let our ego run amok so that if we saw the reason we would be forced to reason with the logic of the everything that has happened. Read that one again if you need to because that my friends is what I have learned from my life in the last week.
I was forced to reason with logic (and my heart and soul) and find the real reason that a simple phone call had upset me so. What a gift!!
Triggers. You have heard of trigger points in the body...those little tight balls of pain in your neck and shoulders? Yes?
Well, our emotions and feelings have trigger points as well. They are there for a reason. They are there for us to go inside...way deep down inside at times and press even harder on those points until they tell us why it is they are there. Patterns. Usually you have developed a pattern in relation to how you cope with certain stimuli in your life. These patterns can be very helpful in times of stress but can also be very hurtful if they are not allowing you to feel the emotions you need to feel...and release.
Feel and release. Have you ever been too afraid to feel something? Have you known that maybe you have stuffed some emotion in your past because at the time you weren't ready to deal with it? Later, maybe you thought now, now I can let that come up for me and get it out. But as soon as you start to reflect on the occasion it feels pretty painful again so you just stuff it back down there for a better day. Try to just feel and release instead of stuffing it back down again. Feeling it for the moment doesn't mean dwelling in it. It doesn't mean reliving it. It only means that you recognize that the event caused you some pain, anger, fear, whatever and that you now release it from your being. That way the trigger gets released and you move on. You begin to feel lighter and more confident that you could just possibly start to feel and release even more and deeper trigger points in your emotional body.
Another revelation I had this week is that as caregivers...many of us are walking around as wounded healers. We are constantly in search for better cures, better methodologies and better outcomes for the ones we are caring for. As healthcare professionals we are usually in search of these things for our patients, clients, family and friends. But let's go back to the wounded healer because that is where we get off track. In search of these new treatments we forget that it is us that is really needing them and we neglect our own healing. We go to seminars, learn new skills, go off on tangents of new age, alternative health so that our knowledge base will increase. What we don't remember though is that the knowledge is within us. Everything we need to know to heal ourselves is inside us right now. You don't have to be a healthcare professional or alternative healer to be in this scenario but if you are you may, if your anger, hurts and ego will step aside, see yourself here. Ask yourself why do I keep learning and learning, giving and giving and still I have unresolved issues that I cannot seem to be done with.
I think it is because we are trying to help others before we help ourselves and that in doing so we can never get to a place of healing. I have now been a nurse half my life. I am only now finding the healing that I have so desperately needed and I did not find it by learning new healing skills other than what I already had inside me. I am learning acceptance. I am learning forgiveness. I am learning unconditional love. For me, those are the skills that I can use for myself to feel and release, to become the best version of me that I can be.
I have to acknowledge that there are people in my life that I am very blessed to have that help me help myself. Some are family and some are not but they are all my best friends in the very sense of those two words. They don't just tell me what I want to hear. They challenge me to think and feel and become the best version of me that I can be. I want to thank each and every one of you. You make me smile on the inside! And I love you so...