Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sunshine on a cloudy day

There is a 30% chance of snow today. It is supposed to be cloudy out else would we get snow if not for clouds but there are none. The land is very dry. We had a wonderful Monsoon season this year but once that faucet dried up so did everything else. Do I care what the weather brings? Does it matter if the forecasters are wrong in their predictions and we don't get that blessed moisture the mesa so dearly desires? Maybe not. If everything happens for a reason then there is a reason that the sun is shining when it is supposed to be cloudy. Maybe somewhere in these west central mountains of New Mexico someone is sitting sadly in their home unable to face a day of clouds. Maybe the sunshine is just what they need to make it through another day.It is supposed to get colder here as well. High of 44 they is 10:30 in the morning and my thermometer reads 47. Maybe that same person might be able to go outside and take a little walkabout because it isn't cloudy and oh-so cold. Who of us knows what we each need in this very moment? Is there really a little voice in our heads or hearts that we could listen to and know exactly in each in every moment what we need? I would say yes. I would say that if we could get quiet and listen we would hear that soothing voice inside telling us what to do or where to be or to just breathe. I listened to that voice inside me this past week and wrote a letter that needed to be written to someone I have never met. I mailed that letter too and it felt good. I did what I said I was going to do and that alone felt good, empowering. I might never know if the letter will have any effect on the person(s) it was intended for but that is okay too. My voice inside told me that what mattered most was that I wrote it and I sent it and for me my work was done. It is up to the receiver to listen to their own voice, or not. That is a good lesson for me as well. I can only listen to my inner voice and I cannot make anyone else listen to matter how loud I might want to speak I am not their inner voice now am I? 
So, it isn't looking like snow today. It is creeping toward the middle of December already. Many people have decorated for the holidays and are going to parties to celebrate the season. My husband and I were guests of my parents last night at the Historical Society's annual Christmas party. It was nice to go and see so many people taking part in the community that we live in out here in this vast land with more elk per square mile than humans. There was a lovely harpist playing in the is food for the soul. Music is what sustains us in so many instances. I have been learning to play the guitar for the last couple of years and have found my singing voice in the process. What I have learned is that if I am playing and singing for my own enjoyment then it is food for MY soul but if I am worried about how I sound to others then it is depleting instead of nourishing. I cannot have my soul starving so I play for me. Doing the things that bring us joy whether musically related or not may be the most important things we can do for ourselves while we are this life. If you aren't doing the things that bring you joy what are you doing? I think I might be very blessed to have gleaned this little tidbit and therefore I am going to endeavor to remember to do the things, or at least one of them, every day. Today, I am writing...this brings me joy. The thermometer continues to rise...the sky is still brings me joy to be outside and take a walk so before those clouds decide to materialize I am going to get out there and breathe in the sunshine and relative warmth while it lasts! May we all do something that bring us joy. What a happy world we would have...many blessings to you this day!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Black Friday...has a new meaning for me now

I met a beautiful, artistic, and firecracker of a woman in April of this year in a town about an hour away. My husband met her before I did and remarked to me that I would certainly find in her a friend...he said we were cut from the same cloth. We hit it off immediately and had an opportunity in May to spend some time together as we drove four hours for an all day workshop the next day. We talked the entire trip, on breaks from the class and all the way home and found lots in common. Except for one thing. She had breast cancer. She, after being treated harshly and "like a number", by a surgeon in the biggest city in our rural state, decided to go the natural path to wellness. She was seeing a Naturopath doctor and eating only whole foods, drinking teas, taking lots of supplements and other alternative treatments. I, being a nurse, had slightly mixed feelings about her choice but was convinced by her enthusiasm that she was doing the 
right thing for herself. In fact, I grew to admire her decision and applauded her commitment to the strict regimen of her natural treatments. Her husband, who I have not yet met (but sounded a bit like my own), supported her in her decision. Her sisters however, gave her quite the hard time over it and attempted to change her mind at every opportunity. She came from a big family and was the baby so that must have been somewhat intimidating for her. Time went by as it always does and I hadn't seen her since July. I knew at that time that she was having tests done to check the progress of the cancer and make sure things were on track. I never found out the outcome of those tests as they were being put off at the time. In early November I learned that things had gotten much worse for her and that she was in hospital in and that the town was having a benefit to help raise money for her hospital bills. One person told me..."at least she is now getting treatment", which I took to mean 
chemotherapy. She must have been feeling so defeated. I prayed for her but did not make the three hour journey to visit her in hospital as our time together was so brief I felt like it was a time for family and not a passing (if not friendly) stranger. Last night I heard at my own dinner table that she passed away on Friday...BLACK Friday to be exact. She left behind her husband and one son, in his early to mid 20's who was attending university. I am so saddened by this news. No, we didn't have a long history together but there was certainly a connection. One of those connections where, when you meet, you feel like you had known them your whole life.
I am still proud of my friend for making the decision she made in treating her body of this horrid disease. She didn't fail. She succumbed in the end but not without taking a journey that she might never had taken otherwise. She found that life is more than mean people, more than being a number, and more than just doing what you are told to do by those who consider themselves the authority. I will miss her, I already do. 

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Grandkids come to the Mesa!

 My son Josh and wife, Nichole and their boys Jamie and Landen came to visit last week. It is a 16 hour drive and my daughter in law is pregnant so it was a an awesome gift that they gave us in coming. Plus they brought our granddaughter, their niece, Annie, which was very generous indeed. We are so grateful to them for making the long are some of the highlights from the visit.
 Our granddaughter Annie is a beauty and a charmer. Her beautiful smile will win over the worst of moods on anyone! Our DIL Nichole, who is having yet another boy, spent 20 minutes blow-drying and curling her lovely hair. I snapped the photo before the evidence of the hard work disappeared.
 These 3 kiddos can ham it up at a moment's notice and they do a pretty good job don't you think?! After this shot we went for a picnic on Rainwalker Mesa while the parents went to Pie Town for lunch and PIE!!
 Grampa is having just way too much fun here!! Hang on tight kids!
 The great grandparents got a visit too. Nice to have us all on one mesa top eh? Josh and Nichole helped Grandpa and Grandma paint a doorway and put up a screen door on their new house. Thanks guys!!
 So, here is my favorite part...Annie is singing while Jamie plays the guitar in the background. You know I am in heaven here!!! Annie loved the microphone. She was hesitant at first but she really got the hang of it. Jamie just beamed with a guitar in his hand. Someday I hope, as he gets a little older, that he picks it up again and outshines his Emma in his talent and ability! In the meantime I have written another song that I have dedicated to him. 
 Annie and our newest family member, Kittybird, hit it off nicely. Kittybird takes a lovely picture doesn't she?
 We went on a quick hike at the Datil Well before going to milk the goat that provides me with the milk I drink. The kids loved Emma's goat milk!! Yay!
Emma and Jamie at the Luna Rodeo. The kids had never been to a rodeo before and it was quite a hit! Our visit was very special and many wonderful memories were made. 
It is hard to explain what it is like to have grandchildren. They are more than the children of your children but at the same time that is what makes it so special. Thank you to all my children for giving me this pleasure in my life!